Chapter Text
My name is Satou Kazuma. I was once a hikikomori in Japan, but after I met my untimely demise (in the most embarrassing way possible, of course), I ended up in front of a goddess who offered me an amazing opportunity; Be reincarnated and start life anew, or be transported to a fantasy world, quested to defeat a demon king.
I chose the later, expecting to live a new life fraught with adventure, money, and hot babes! And...I was technically right...those latter two just had a bad habit of not being associated with me.
My party, formed of fellow adventurers, isn’t much better. First, there’s Aqua, the useless goddess who made the offer in the first place. After she laughed at me for my death and treated me like sh*t, I selected her as my “cheat item” for when I entered the world. Like I said, she’s not a very useful member, but she does have her moments...when she’s not plunging me into debt or attracting undead monsters.
Then there’s Megumin, our arch wizard. She actually is pretty impressive, once you get past the fact that she only uses one spell. According to her, ahem , “Explosion is my passion!”. Again, she’s pretty hopeless, but I’d be lying if I said she didn’t save our skins once or twice. Plus, her cat is cute, so that’s always a plus.
And then we have Darkness, our fearless crusader who also happens to be a pervert masoch*st. In case it wasn't clear, that can be a bit of a problem for a class built to tank damage. She can get a bit intense at times, and the fact that she used to miss every swing of her damn sword doesn’t bode well, but I still consider her a close, trusted friend, same as the rest of my party members.
We’ve been through hell together these last few months, defeating a number of the Demon King’s generals and making our fair share of allies along the way. As of late, though, things have been almost peaceful. It makes me a bit nervous, like…
Something big is lurking right around the corner.
~~~~~
“Kazuma, Kazuma!”
“Yes, that’s my name.” Kazuma interjected, fixing the useless goddess with an unimpressed glare as she gawked at him with an irritatingly wide smile.
“I got us a new quuuuest~!” Aqua crowed, presenting a bounty sheet with a dramatic flourish. “Low risk, high reward. Best one on the board!”
“You’re rhyming, now?” Megumin asked, joining the pair with Darkness in tow, having finally finished up their breakfast. “That’s not gonna be a consistent thing, right?”
“Wha-N-NO!” Aqua sputtered, immediately looking flustered and stomping her foot, a fresh temper tantrum on the horizon. “And even if I was, so what?! Anything I do should be good enough, considering I’m a GODDESS!”
“Aqua!” Kazuma interrupted, shocking the goddess to silence as he laid a hand on her shoulder, offering her a surprisingly bright smile. “Nice work! You really did get the best bounty on the board!”
Kazuma then presented the sheet to his fellow team members, allowing them to read it’s contents. A new dungeon had been discovered nearby, and only one or two parties had explored it so far, reporting quite a bit of loot and a noticeable lack of enemies.
“My, this really is an excellent quest!” Darkness remarked, flashing Aqua an impressed smile. “Well done!”
“Yeah, you did pretty good, Aqua!” Megumin agreed, giving her staff and experimental twirl. “This place should be a piece of cake!”
With the party’s morale higher than it had been in days, Kazuma had to admit that even he was excited to get back out into the world after a week or so on break. Megumin was right, after all, this was gonna be easy.
~~~~~
Except it wasn’t. It really, really wasn’t.
“KAZUMAAAAAA!” Aqua wailed as she skidded across the cold stone floor, desperately dodging arrows and spikes with unreasonable agility. “GET US OUT OF HERE!”
As it turns out, the reason the dungeon seemed like such a great looting spot was because the few parties that entered stayed on the upper levels. The lower levels, which his party had decided to traverse, were full of an array of deadly traps which were now making escape near impossible.
“D-Darkness! Hold the wall!” Kazuma shrieked as a trap wall began to descend from the ceiling, nearly trapping the party if not for the crusader’s intervention. After all three of the remaining party members slipped through, the crusader joined them on the other side as they continued to book it towards the exit. “Aqua, when we get out of here, I’m gonna smack you something fierce for not vetting this place more thoroughly!”
“Waaa! It’s not my fault! How was I supposed to know this place was so dangerous?!” The useless goddess cried, tears already spilling down her cheeks as she wailed like a banshee while still keeping pace. “I thought it was safe!”
“Look! The main staircase!” Megumin shouted, pointing in the exit’s direction with her staff. “We’re almost out! Make a break for it!”
None of the assembled adventurer's needed a second order as they all started booking towards the staircase out. Kazuma and Megumin were in the front, with Darkness and Aqua taking up the rear. As they ran, Kazuma glanced back at the goddess, who was still sobbing uncontrollably, and rolled his eyes. Really, she could be so useless sometim-
Suddenly, Aqua stutter stepped, her foot pushing a stone tile down and activating a trap. At the end of the hall, something activated, and an arrow was launched down the hall at incredible speed. Aqua looked up in horror, shielding herself best she could as she shrieked in fear.
The sound of the arrow breaching flesh was disturbing one, a dull thuwp followed by pained gurgles. Megumin and Darkness turned, their horrified expressions matching that of the water goddess as they realized the noises were coming from Kazuma.
Primal fear surged through the man as he clawed at his throat, blood spilling from the wound on both sides, making him choke on his own blood. Tunnel vision started to set in as he staggered forward, the cries of his friends dull and distant as his ears rang.
Suddenly, his foot missed a step, and then he was falling. Careening through the darkness, body slamming into the stone stairs as he fell further and further from the exit. His mind was racing, his heart was pounding. He could barely process the pain before his head slammed into a stair with a sickening crunch.
Then he didn’t feel anything.
~~~~~
Dying never got any more comfortable. Granted, Kuzama didn’t really expect it to, since most people only die once, twice if you have someone special looking out for you. Dying 6 times, though? Not exactly ideal.
As Kazuma opened his eyes, he found himself back in that chair across from Eris, goddess of fortune. To be fair, she was the only good thing to ever come from dying. She was kind, beautiful, and unlike the water goddess he got stuck with, she was anything but helpless.
“Uh...hey, Eris.” Kazauma greeted with an awkward chuckle, noting how the goddess’s eyes were sharper than normal. “Sorry about, uh, dying. Again.”
Eris didn’t respond at first, which just made Kazuma even more nervous. Was she mad at him? She clearly didn’t enjoy seeing him die, but it also seemed like something else was bothering her as she stood up, slowly making her way towards him.
“Kazuma. While I am glad to see you again, as I always am, I feel that I must confess something to you.” The goddess stated, stopping just before the young man and fixing him with a worried look. “This is the fifth time you have died in this world. The average adventure dies once or twice, but you…”
Another pause occurred as the goddess crouched down and took Kazuma’s hands into her own, prompting the former shut-in to flush a bright crimson, which did not dissipate as Eris looked into his eyes with such care and concern.
“I’m worried about you, Kazuma. I do not want you to suffer anymore.” She declared, her voice soft yet firm, the closest to angry that Kazuma had ever heard her. “I would like to extend my offer, once again, for you to be reincarnated. You could have everything you never had. A wealthy, caring family, people who truly love you.”
For the briefest moment, Kazuma was tempted. It really did sound like a dream come true...but then he thought of his friends. Aqua, Megumin, Darkness. His loyal, foolish, batsh*t crazy party members that he loved more than he’d ever admit to their faces. His other friends too, like Wiz, Chris, even Vanir (well, sort of).
As good as a new life sounded, he couldn’t bear to leave this one behind. Not just yet. So he took Eris’s hands and gave them a gentle squeeze, offering her the kindest, most sincere smile he could muster.
“Thank you for this gracious and merciful offer, Lady Eris.” He announced, surprising the goddess with how sad his smile seemed. “But I can’t accept it...and I think you know why.”
Eris held his gaze for a few more seconds before sighing and releasing his hands, bowing her head. For the second time in their short visit, Kazuma was worried he had upset the one girl he never wanted to upset. Instead, when she raised her gaze to his once more she wore an understanding smile.
“That I do, Kuzama.” She replied, before giggling softly. “You are truly a walking contradiction.”
Before Kuzama had the opportunity to question what she meant by that, a familiar blue light appeared overhead. Without pause, Eris opened the gate and Kuzama began to float upward. As he ascended, however, the goddess of fortune called out to him one last time.
“Goodbye for now, Satou Kuzama. I wish you the best of luck in your adventures.” She hummed, flashing him one last hopeful smile. “And please take care of yourself! For me!”
Kazama’s heart skipped a beat, but he didn’t even manage a word as he returned to the world above, with no damn idea how different things were gonna be.
~~~~~
The first thing Kazuma registered as he reawakened was the bright, shining sun above him, cluing him into the fact that they revived him once they escaped the dungeon. The second, far more pressing thing he registered was the three crying women surrounding him.
“K-K-Kazuma...I’m sorry.” Aqua whimpered, tears trailing down her face as she knelt before her team leader with an utterly shameful expression. “I-I-I thought that t-this would be s-s-safe, I-I should never h-have taken that q-quest!”
“I’m sorry too.” Darkness interjected suddenly, the crusade flushed and just as teary eyed. “My very place in this party is as a protector. I have personally failed you on this day, and I cannot excuse my inaction. I am sorry, Kazuma.”
“Kazuma, we should have been smarter about our search. We were reckless and you...you got…” Meguim whispered, trailing off as she grabbed his arm, clinging to his like she was scared he was gonna fade away any second. “I’m so sorry.”
Kazuma, for his part, was absolutely speechless. These girls were the same ones that accused him of sexual harassment, ditched him when Sena arrested him, put him through hours of annoyance and embarrassment, and now here they were. Crying over him like this was the last time they’d ever see him. It was...kinda surreal.
And suspiciously out of character.
“Ok, out with it.” Kazuma interjected, fixing all three of the women with a stern glare. “Who drew on me this time?”
All three of his friends gawked at him like he had just said something insane, which was almost more frustrating. Kazuma rolled his eyes as he rose to his feet, a motion that was mirrored by his surrounding party members.
“Guys, I appreciate that you’re all torn up about this. Really, I am.” He assured them, even managing a small smile. “But I’m fine, really. While I’d rather not choke to death on my blood ever again, it’s not any of your faults...sorta.”
The girls looked unconvinced, all still visibly upset. While it was still a little weird to see them so concerned, Kazuma was more than happy to just chalk their strange behavior up to disappointment of their first quest in a while being a bust. Either that, or they were trying to butter him up, which was far more in character and made a lot more sense.
“Well, if we hustle, I think we might just make it back to Axel by noon.” Kazuma mused, before reaching down and chuckling lightly as he retrieved a small pouch of assorted jewels and gold that had started the entire trap system. “And this might just be able to buy us lunch. Looks like my luck stat is good for something after all, huh?”
None of the girls laughed at the quip, but that wasn’t really a surprise. A minute later, they started the trek back towards town. None of the girls said a word, and they all still looked pretty upset. In the back of his mind, Kazuma wondered if something really did happen after his latest death to cause this abrupt change of character in his usually hopeless and fickle party members.
They’d seen him die before, nearly half a dozen times! The only other time they’d reacted even remotely close to this level of concern was his death against the Winter Shogun, and after a few minutes they were already back to their annoying but familiar selves.
“ Maybe I’m just overthinking this! The girls are probably just a little shook up over all the traps. They’ll be back to their normal, unsavory, ever-so helpless selves within the hour.” Kazuma thought to himself, allowing his smile to linger. “ Might as well enjoy it as it lasts.”
The young adventure kept that thought in mind as he and his friends made their way back towards their home, entirely unaware that his life wasn’t gonna be the same after that day.
