I do not recommend to brides and grooms to write their own marriage vows. It’s much more difficult than it sounds to most of my clients. That is why I suggest to couples to write a “free-style” letter to each other in the place of customized vows. However, if my client is committed to writing their own vows, the following tips may help with the process.
1. START EARLY – give yourself time to write, digest, and make several revisions. This is too important to wait to the last minute
2. READ OTHER VOWS FOR IDEAS – Go online and read what others have written. You don’t have to plagiarize, but you can grab some good ideas
3. CHOOSE A PARTICULAR STYLE TOGETHER – Are you going with serious, romantic, fun, cleaver, story-telling, or even short-n-sweet.
4. CHOOSE A DEADLINE – Together decide when they need to be complete.
5. ASK A MUTUAL TRUSTED FRIEND TO READ BOTH FOR SUGGESTIONS – choose the same trusted friend to read them so he/she can catch any problems early.
6. KEEP YOUR GUESTS IN MIND – if your guests are mostly older, than be aware of that I you write them.
7. DECIDE TOGETHER IF HUMOR IS ALLOWED – humor is great but extremely awkward if one of you is funny and the other isn’t. Decide together if humor is permitted.